The Man Who Couldn’t Come

let me tell you about the man who couldn’t come

always tardy dude was slower than ripples in a pond

like a snail or a tortoise but he never won

Slow and steady never got him very far

he looked to the skies but they didn’t respond

and now he’s late to the movies and the previews are on

no one gets left behind don’t apply in this situation

Let me tell you about the man who couldn’t come

played guitar, strummed too hard and he broke his thumb

surgery to retrieve nervous system muscle memory

dude seriously thinks he’s got a shot in the rockstar ring

and who knows, I may agree, or he may be worth less than a drop of my pee

But anyway that’s why he couldn’t make it to your baby shower

He’s excited for your kids its just an unlucky situation sour

He’s happy you’re married and sorry about the incident

What you don’t know, let me recollect it then

He told your mom she looked trash

he didn’t know who she were and apologized afterwards

He told your mom she looked trash

what begged him to this madness was specter or phantom

He told your mom she looked trash

and she threw a tantrum.

Arms in the air, eyes just dancin and dancin

Flailin her arms like rock n sockem robots

got his head MMMbopin like those fuckin Hansons